Thursday, March 5, 2009

In One Ear and Out the Other

As Julianna was getting ready for her shower a few nights ago, I repeatedly told her that she needed to make sure to wash her hair. But not once did she acknowledge me ... it didn't even seem like she had heard me. Finally, I said: "Julianna, did you hear what I said? Please answer me!"

Without glancing at me, she said: "Yes, I heard you. You said 'blah blah blah.'"

If nothing else, she gets credit for honesty.

It's a frustration all parents share. It often seems that the things we say to our children go in one ear and out the other.

When Julianna said that, I immediately thought about the classic Gary Larson Farside cartoon depicting the dog who only hears her own name ... the rest sounds like "blah blah blah."

As much as it pains me to admit it, this is probably what I sound like most of the time to LJ and Julianna (and perhaps my husband too).

The kids hear words like ice cream ... Pokemon ... and allowance.

Everything else is filtered as "x-rated" content ... particularly phrases like clean up your mess ... time for homework ... and eat your vegetables (at least in Julianna's case).

Incredibly, it seems more often than not that I get that blank stare from LJ and Julianna. The one that says, "the lights are on but nobody's home."

With that in mind, I decided to conduct yet another very, very unscientific experiment.

I began counting the number of times I had to repeat myself to the kids.

Word to the wise: do not try this at home. It is downright depressing.

Between pickup from school yesterday (4:30 p.m.) and bedtime last night (8 p.m.), the following occurred:

  • I repeated instructions to Julianna 14 times in 3 1/2 hours.

  • I repeated instructions to LJ 12 times in 2 1/2 hours. (Note: he was in basketball practice for one hour).
That means, on average, I am repeating myself once every 13.8 minutes.

Which translates to approximately 56 times in the 13 hours my kids are awake each day.

Equating to 395 times per week.

Totaling a whopping 20,540 nags in the span of one year.

Taking those staggering numbers into account, perhaps it's not so bad when Julianna claims that all she hears me say is "blah blah blah."

At least I know she is listening.

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