Dishing it Out

A couple of weeks ago, Jack and I decided it was time for the kids to have daily chores. And not just the "stop hitting your brother" and "no more pulling your sister's hair" kind of chores.

In our fantasy world, LJ and Julianna would obediently and happily complete their assigned duties. They would never complain and would rarely need prompting.

In other words, the exact opposite of when I was a kid.

I was around Julianna's age when I was given daily chores. By far, my least favorite chore was unloading the dishwasher. To this day I still dread it and I will do anything to avoid it.

In fact, I hate it so much that sometimes, after opening up a clean dishwasher, I will cringe, close it, and pretend I didn't see that it needed unloading.

Keeping in mind my own history of chore misery, I was determined to make this a "fun" experience for my own kids -- this would not mimic the same drudgery in my own childhood.

Jack made a colorful chart to hang on the fridge so the kids could check off their daily progress. (I guess, for some reason, we thought this would make it more enticing).

We decided to start small, build momentum with sure success, and gradually add chores to the list until our kids were ironing our clothes, making our coffee, and scrubbing the toilets on a daily basis.

After considering a long list of possibilities, Jack and I decided that LJ's chores would be:

• Feed Viking dinner every night
• Put dirty clothes in the laundry basket every day
• Clear dishes from the table after all snacks and meals

Julianna's chores include:

• Put dirty clothes in the laundry basket every day
• Clear dishes from the table after all snacks and meals
• Help unload the dishwasher at least 3 times per week

Yes, you read that correctly. I assigned Julianna the exact same chore I hated so much as a child.

Not surprisingly, our efforts at raising responsible, helpful kids have already backfired.

After LJ breezed through the first week of his chores, he seemed stunned when Jack printed out a new, empty chart to hang on the fridge.

"What do you mean there's a new chart?? I thought we only had to do this for ONE week."

More proof from LJ that Rome, indeed, was not built in a day.

For Julianna's part, she was genuinely excited the first couple of times she helped unload the dishwasher. In fact, she wondered aloud why she only had to do it three times a week.

By day four, she audibly groaned when I requested her help putting away the dishes.

Then, while helping me, she dropped a bowl on the floor.

No harm, no foul ... but LJ couldn't resist chiming in.

"Julianna knows that if she drops something and breaks it, she won't have to unload the dishes anymore."

Julianna insisted that wasn't her motive, but perhaps LJ was right. Maybe she was subconsciously trying to get out of her dishwasher duties.

Tonight, her protest was far less subtle.

"Mama, I really don't like unloading the dishwasher. I'd like to choose something else. Yes, I'll start making my bed every day instead. That would be better."

I told her no. She would have to stick with the dishwasher. And I haven't relented ... yet.

But I suppose it serves me right that Julianna is just as unenthusiastic about unloading the dishwasher as I am.

After all, as my mom has always said ... don't dish it out if you can't take it.