College Counseling for Kindergarteners

Today I was in the car with LJ, Julianna, and their friend, Julianna. (I'll refer to her hereafter as Jules to avoid any confusion).

I could hear the girls in the third row of my SUV whispering and giggling (about boys I presume). And then, in a change of topic that was completely random, Julianna announced, "I may or may not go to college when I grow up."

Jules replied: "What are you talking about? You have to go to college or you can't get a job."

"I don't have to go if I don't want to," said Julianna.

"But how are you going to make any money if you don't get a job?" asked Jules.

And then LJ piped in, "DUH!"

LJ's comment quickly squelched the conversation. But why were a 6-year-old and two 8-year-olds even discussing their college plans? And how is it possible that the two second-graders have already determined that college is not a choice, but a requirement?

Well, it's actually not that shocking if you consider the environment in which most of our kids grow up.

We start looking for that competitive edge the moment our kids are conceived.

I remember reading to LJ months before he was born. I took Julianna to Kindermusik classes when she couldn't even crawl. LJ started playing YMCA soccer and basketball when he was 3 years old. And Julianna was on the fast track to being an Olympic gymnast until she broke her collarbone shortly before her fourth birthday.

Seriously. I put my kids through all those things. And while I'm sure it was enriching for them on some level (except for maybe the in utero bedtime stories), it was more about me than it was about them.

Given that I (and many other parents) have programmed my children from an early age to give it their all ... shoot for the stars ... take no prisoners ... it comes as no surprise that pre-teens are now plotting their paths to job security.

And maybe that's okay. It has become so difficult to get into the nation's top colleges that any edge we can give our kids may benefit them in the long run.

If my children need that extra little push to get them to the front of the line, then I'm happy to be the Mom who shoves the kid in front of them out of the way.

But all kidding aside ... let's not fool ourselves. It might be cute right now that Julianna doesn't want to go to college because she "never wants to leave Mommy and Daddy," but it won't be nearly as adorable when she turns 18.

Part of my job as a parent is to guide my children toward that next step ... whether it's college or something else. It's in their best interests - and mine - to encourage them however I can.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to help LJ finish editing his college essays. You wouldn't believe the grammatical errors that kid is making.