When Pigs Fly

Everyone has an Easy-Bake Oven. You know - the brass ring you couldn't quite reach as a child. The one thing you just had to have that you never got. It didn't matter how much you begged and pleaded, bartered or prayed -- it wasn't going to happen.

My parents, nor Santa, nor the Hanukkah Fairy were going to deliver the goods. The Easy-Bake Oven was my "Dream Deferred", my Raisin in the Sun.

Okay, maybe that's overstating it a bit.

But when Julianna approached me about a month ago asking for a pet rabbit, I knew I was in trouble. The Easy-Bake Oven was lingering in my mind.

At the ripe old age of 9, Julianna says her goal is to be an animal researcher, and she believes that having a pet of her own will allow her to study and learn more about the behavior of animals. To make her case, she produced a PowerPoint and presented it with great confidence to me and Jack.

When her rabbit research revealed that bunnies do not make ideal pets for children, she quickly turned her attention to rodents. And she eventually settled on guinea pigs as the pet du jour.

I initially said no. Nada. Not on your life.

And then she cried.

Hard.

Real tears.

And I caved.

It was that damn Easy-Bake Oven. I could practically smell the freshly baked cookies that never had the chance to melt in my mouth.

Oreo and Cinnamon the guinea pigs are now part of the family. No big deal, right? Tiny little creatures that hardly need a thing, I thought.

Until yesterday. Julianna became alarmed when Oreo was struck with a sudden fit of sneezing. As usual, I turned to my trusty friend, Google, for advice on curing the cavies' ailments.

EMERGENCY! PIGS NEAR DEATH! GET THEM TO A VET AT ONCE!

A trip across town to the "Exotic Vet" and $150 later, our pigs are now on antibiotics for upper respiratory infections. Apparently the twice-a-day dose of cherry-flavored Septra is a life-saving measure to ward of pneumonia of the cavia porcellus kind (Pig Latin, for those of you wondering).

As I waited in the vet's office for our furry friends' stool sample results to come back (really), I thought about the Easy-Bake Oven and whether all of this trouble is really worth it just to satisfy the childhood feelings I had clearly  projected onto my sweet daughter.

Of course it is.

The smile on her face as she cuddles those little critters makes it all worth while ... even as I'm shoveling pig poo into the trash can and chopping cucumbers for the sake of snacks.

And if I had to do it all over again, I would.

When pigs fly.