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Many of you have already heard me rant about how the movie had way too much adult content for young kids ... yet, it was marketed squarely at families like mine. We had read the adult version of the book, the kids' abridged version, and the kids' picture book. I am quite certain that a naked Jennifer Aniston appeared nowhere in those three texts. I know it's Hollywood, but a warning would have been nice.
Nevertheless, that's not what this post is about. The books, and then the movie, got Jack and me talking about how most Lab owners could probably write their own memoir about their dog's shenanigans.
Viking, our 9-year-old yellow Lab, is no exception. He has provided us with plenty of inspiration.
So, in the spirit of Marley & Me, and to celebrate my dog's rapidly approaching 10th birthday, here is a list of the stuff movies are made of ... courtesy the Vikester. And, as one of my favorite writers Dave Barry says, "I swear I am not making any of this up."
- Viking gets attacked by venomous spider and eyes swell shut. Vet bill is amplified by emergency vet visit during holiday. Cha-ching.
- Viking begins career as landscaper. Digs up azalea bushes in the backyard of our new home. Picks the bushes up in his mouth, moves them across the yard, digs new hole, and drops them in.
- After a year of crate training, Viking spends a few hours roaming free in the guest room while we are out. Claws and chews through layers of drywall straight to the studs.
- While driving with Viking in the front seat of our car, Jack has to slam on the brakes. Dog goes head-first into the windshield, cracking the entire window. Dog is a little woozy, but fine. On the phone, insurance company rep laughs hysterically when I explain what happened.
- Viking begins throwing up in the middle of the night. In the morning, we realize he has been throwing up pieces of black plastic. The black plastic is an ant trap. Dog spends the day at the vet, getting some sort of medicine pumped through his veins.
- As we near Christmas, Viking finds a container filled with foil-wrapped chocolates. He eats them all -- including the foil. I call the vet to see if I should be concerned. The reply? "No, as long as he didn't eat any dark chocolate." He did. Dog is fine, but appears a little sick to his stomach for the next few days. I pick up foil-filled poop in the yard for the next week.
Another good one! You give Dave Barry a run for his money.
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